Why Dads Need to Take Things Bird by Bird

As men, husbands, and fathers, we juggle countless responsibilities daily. Work demands, home maintenance, financial planning, parenting challenges—it all piles up until we feel paralyzed by the sheer volume of what needs to be done.

This is where the idea of handling things bird by bird - a phrase popularized in Anne Lamott's’s book by the same title - comes into play.

Her father's simple advice given in the quote above, offers a framework for tackling life's overwhelming moments: handle one task at a time, finish it, and then move to the next.

(While this email will give you a solid primer, I recommend you grab Lamott’s book.)

Why Men Struggle with Overload

As men, we often feel pressure to handle everything at once.

We're wired to be providers and protectors. When multiple areas of life demand attention simultaneously, our instinct is to solve everything immediately. But this approach leads to mental gridlock and physical inaction.

The truth?

Our brains aren't designed to multitask effectively.

Studies show that focusing on one task at a time makes us more productive and less stressed than trying to juggle multiple responsibilities.

So, how do we put this into action?

Applying Bird by Bird to Dad Life

Step 1: Brain Dump Everything

Take 15 minutes to write down every responsibility, task, and concern weighing on you—work deadlines, home repairs, kids' activities, relationship issues.

Get it all out of your head and onto paper.

Step 2: Categorize Your Birds

Group your tasks into categories:

• Must do today

• Must do this week

• Can wait until next week

• Ongoing/recurring responsibilities

Step 3: Pick Your First Bird

Choose ONE task from your "must do today" list.

Don't think about the others yet.

Select something you can complete in 30 minutes or less.

Step 4: Complete That One Bird

Work on just that task until it's finished.

Turn off notifications on your phone. Close browser tabs. No distractions.

Focus completely until that bird is done.

Step 5: Acknowledge and Move Forward

Take a moment to recognize that you've completed something.

Choose your next bird.

Repeat.

When the Birds Get Complicated

Sometimes a bird is too big to tackle at once. If so, break it down further into meaningful and manageable chunks.

1. What's the smallest piece of this task I can complete today?

2. What's the first step toward resolution?

3. What 15-minute action would move this forward?

Turn a big bird into a small bird and put the plan into action.

The Mental Freedom of Bird by Bird Living

The greatest benefit of this approach isn't just productivity—it's peace of mind.

When you know you're handling life one manageable piece at a time, the heaviness of it all starts to lift. You can be present with your family rather than mentally spinning through your endless to-do list.

This presence is ultimately what your children and spouse need most from you. Not a dad who does everything perfectly, but one who shows up fully for the moments that matter.

Feedback

Thanks for taking the time to read this issue of the Vibrant Dad Newsletter.

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